Here’s How to Keep Perfectionism from Ruining your New Year’s Resolutions
Most New Year’s Resolutions are a setup. A lot of the time we set ridiculously high standards that we punish ourselves for not being able to achieve. This all or nothing style thinking is a common mechanism in perfectionism as well. We get into a cycle of expecting that we flawlessly meet our goals for the new year. Let’s think about the typical resolutions of eating healthier. We might go full steam ahead filling our fridge with produce that dies faster than a housefly- with this jumping in the deep end approach we end up discouraged and stressed. We take the sight of wasted produce as a sign that we can NEVER reach our goal. It is a bit drastic but our mind can spiral in less time than it took to read that sentence. To avoid letting your perfectionistic tendencies from snatching the reins of your resolutions let’s start small.
Sometimes we have huge audacious goals such as taking our career to the next level, writing that book or purchasing our first home. There is nothing wrong with these big dreams, but if you struggle with perfectionism and find yourself anxious it may be better to start with some smaller steps before cranking the dial up. This lets our momentum naturally build, along with our tolerance for setbacks along the way.
Another counterintuitive part of perfectionism that interferes with goals is not starting a task if we can’t give it 110%. When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions this can look like someone who bought a gym membership but if they cannot workout a full hour like they envisioned they will not even attempt going. In other words- if it can’t be perfect you don’t want it at all. To resist this tendency practice giving yourself permission to complete small parts of a larger goal.
SMART goals are a perfect way to determine if you are going overboard with a New Year’s Resolution. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound. The tricky part when battling perfectionism is you have to be brutally honest with yourself about that ‘realistic’ portion of goal setting. If you know that your procrastination or anxiety will interfere with a goal and keep you from attempting it- pull back and try again.
Sometimes the mental energy it takes to decide on some goals can be a roadblock. So if you are burnt out and need a simple list of resolutions look no further.
Simple Resolution Ideas:
Spend at least 20 minutes a day doing nothing: When we force ourselves to unplug for even a short period of time we slow down enough to notice the cues our body may be sending. The over stimulation of our daily life can be a distraction from the thoughts that would bubble to the surface during periods of relaxation. If this feels like too much start at lower increments of time and build up.
Schedule Me Time: We all have a different level of need for this one. Someone people need a daily pampering self-care activity or a weekly music dance session. Whatever it looks like for you- make it happen!
Give yourself permission to not complete that to-do list: Listen- I am the queen of post its, planners and digital lists. But I know that the list is every growing just like laundry piles. When you give yourself permission to not finishing everything, it let’s you breath a bit and focus on what you actually want to give your energy.
Celebrate the Smallest of Victories: If the past 2 years has taught us anything it is definitely that we need to enjoy the goodness while it lasts. When we cheer ourselves for the progress we are making it is boosts our confidence to keep us going.
Pick 1 thing: Most perfectionists are driven so it can easily end up that we are spread thin. If you have a bunch of new skills you want to learn or practice, try to focus your time by dedicating to one per month rather than diffusing your efforts.
Most people jump into new years resolutions with a tenacity that is not sustainable- then when the motivation dwindles they blame themselves. We tell ourselves that we have to be motivated to get things done and that’s not true. If we leave everything at the whim of our motivation we will be stuck only doing the things we have to- like earn a living, and ignoring the fun things.
Consistency does not mean perfectly or daily- it can be at whatever interval fits into your life.
