In a rut? Here's how to get unstuck!
"Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others."
Paulo Coehlo
Have you ever been stuck in a rut where you want to handle on your responsibilities but cant seem to get started? Me too. This lull in progress happens to everyone from time to time. The most challenging part can be once you notice the issue but have NO CLUE where to start. The internet is filled with advice ranging from mindfulness skills to the awful "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" mentality- here you'll find a balanced mix of practical advice. The tips below are things that have worked either for myself or clients. Read through each suggestion to find one that suits you personally.
Reflect on possible causes: Our fix can be as simple as realizing what is the cause and resolving that. Common causes can be relationship stress, unhappiness with our careers or feeling directionless. Self reflection is key to understanding ourselves and getting closer to how we would prefer our life to look when things are running smoothly. Journaling, sitting in silence or taking a long shower are prime times for deep thought.
Find ways to feel accomplished: Reaching a goal or finishing a task are my go-to ways to feel accomplished. Even if it is a small task it can give us a hit of the achievement hormone dopamine. The feel good rush gets us feeling better about ourselves and can get us motivated to keep going. And if you are burnout from a long day making an "achieved list" works just as well. Write out a list of everything you got done today- crossing each item off the list.
Rest: There are several forms of rest that can help us to feel recharged. Feeling refreshed with new mental clarity clears a path for us to leave our rut in the past. Sometimes we need a mental break from our worklife or feel drained from too much social interaction. Check out my favorite article here about the different kinds of rest to see which type you may be lacking.
Shake free of perfectionism: You may not be ready to break up with those perfectionistic traits- they have their perks which is why we keep them around. Holding ourselves to a standard of perfection is unrealistic and causes procrastination. We hold ourselves back because deep down we know that we cannot be perfect. This leaves us indecisive and often thinking we will be judged for not being flawless. Life is messy, we learn through our mistakes and trust me- making an attempt is better than being stuck.
Do a deep clean: While some folks thrive in controlled chaos- many of us feel more anxious and stressed when our environment is cluttered or disorganized. Doing a deep clean is a two-fer, you'll feel accomplished for completing a task AND get the benefits of your space being breathable. Whether it is your car, work space or bedroom the change will be refreshing.
Switch things up! : Speaking of refreshing- establishing a new routine can help get us out of monotony. A change to our regular life can be the shift we need to loosen the holds of a rut. This can be as drastic or minimal as you're comfortable with. I like to start with changing my morning routine- this sets the tone for a good day and many people find it easier to remember first thing.
Embrace pleasure: Lean into the things that feel good. Pleasure is not just sexual, although that is a fun start. Savor the joy from all forms of pleasure such as sharing a meal with a loved one, expressing sensuality, reading a satisfying novel, indulging in luxury or soaking in the sun. Enjoy moments that feel good and the next time when you have a rough day turn to those simple pleasures as relief.
Could it be more than a rut? : If you think your rut is lasting longer than it should or it feels more intense, maybe it isn't a rut. It can be hard to recognize when our feeling stuck is deeper, consult a professional to identify if you are experiencing depression or another disorder. Here you can find a free version of the most common depression screening. This is only a start, it is important to take it a step further to seek professional support.
Please let me know in the comments which tip you felt was most useful. Or share a suggestion that you have found works.